my cute bird!

July 31, 2015

Daddy how am I so lucky that God sent me to you?

Everything you say is so perfectly just for me! HOW do you do it? 

As I have looked back, becuse I felt I should I started to read my journal and realized everywhere I thought I could not see God at that moment it was clear to me now, HE WAS ALWAYS THERE. I could see it. 

thank you for being so close to me dad. I love you guys so much. it is true the connection is stronger than ever and i am so grateful because it really sometimes is so hard. Dad I am just sitting here crying. I feel the spirit so strong. never before in my life have i known how REAL everything is. I have always had a testimony, i have gone through some hard things, but dad I REALLY KNOW IT now. It is so real for me now and I am so grateful. Thank you for the blessing and thank you and mom for being such righteous and good parents for me. My family is truly my greatest blessing. and thanks to you I really do not feel far away. I love you dad. I love mom. I am so grateful. i can't say it enough. thank you for writing me this and thanks for being my dad and for loving me.

You take care of yourself too ok? You and mom know how much I love you right? 

Love Ky

PS: I feel weird to ask for anything but I do probably need new skirts but I did get new garments in Kyiv so we are all good there. Thank you deed. I JUST ADORE YOU! 

"We are little people practicing to be bigger and we fail constantly."

"The thing that struck my mind as I have pondered this situation we are in as mortals with these massive aspirations and these tiny capabilities to do what we feel we should, is that we are in the Lord’s hands. We are little children. He knows that and he loves us just like we love our little ones. Probably more in fact. He is patient and kind and good."

On Fri, Jul 31, 2015 at 10:26 PM, Tom Karren <tkarren@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Ky,

Mom told me that you are still feeling pretty down. So sorry to hear that my little one. It’s tough to hear that things have been so challenging for you. I know how hard it was for me, and I can only imagine the magnitude and scope of change you have been through. Brazil was probably in many ways so much easier to manage than what you are doing. I also heard you were feeling sick and I hope that you are getting better, and getting any help you need to get better.

It’s hard as a parent in this kind of situation because I know it’s not anything I can do from here that will help you much. I just continue to hope and pray that you will be ok, that you will feel peace. In this life, we face so many challenges and as I have gone along I have realized we are so frail in so many ways. We are little people practicing to be bigger and we fail constantly.

The thing that struck my mind as I have pondered this situation we are in as mortals with these massive aspirations and these tiny capabilities to do what we feel we should, is that we are in the Lord’s hands. We are little children. He knows that and he loves us just like we love our little ones. Probably more in fact. He is patient and kind and good.

Whatever it is that is challenging you Ky, I hope you know that you are good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough and every possible kind of enough. In fact, you are more than enough on just about every kind of thing that matters.

With the challenges I have faced in the last few years, I have tried to practice knowing that I am good enough and on a quest to get better (even though I am aware of my weaknesses, and I feel beset by the situation not going the way I want). I think the Lord sees us for what we can become, and for what we will become. I don’t think he even see’s us for what we are today. I’m sure that he is aware of our current state, but to him, all things are present, so he knows the future, so it’s probably just as easy for him to see us as perfected children as it is to see us as little learners and mistake makers. We need to be as patient with ourselves as he is with us. We see the future, not the past. We see the possibilities and we strive towards it with faith and with perseverance, but not with any fear or regret. Only the good stays with us. The bad peels away as we move forward if we are trying and leaning on the Lord.

I just want you to know that you are great. Yes, you are not perfect, but you are great, and you are doing what you felt you should go and do. Sometimes in life my bird, we do not understand why things are the way they are, until later. Looking backwards on our life and experiences, we see how things connect up for our good. To me, this is the hand of the Lord. Guiding sometimes in invisible ways, but always for our good. As I have contemplated some of the bad things that have happened to me in the last few years, I realize that they have been for my greater good, and I would not change those challenging experiences even if I could. Looking back, I also see how well cared for I have been, and how silly some of the things that have beset me were.

Just don’t feel bad about yourself in any way because you have time and opportunities to do anything you want. You have time to learn, to love, to serve, to rest, to laugh, to teach and more. It is and will be ok. You are very far away from us physically, but you are as close as you have ever been in our minds, our spirits, and our hearts. I promise you that there is not a minute of any day or night that we do not have you in our minds and in our hearts. So I hope that you do not feel far away from us, because even though the distance is great, the separation is temporary and the spiritual connection is stronger than ever.

As your father, I feel that I have the right to continue to bless you even though you are off doing your mission and much more on your own. So Kylie, as your father, I bless you that you will feel at peace. I bless you that you will know of the Lord’s love and approval for your efforts. I bless you, that through the spirit you will feel comforted. I bless you that you will be strengthened, spiritually, physically, mentally and in every needed way to accomplish your goals and to be able to do the things which you have been called to do. I bless you that you will be able to posses the light and happiness made possible by the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that you will be able to share it with the people that you interact with in Ukraine. Wether they are members of the Church or otherwise. I leave these blessing with you my Kylie as your father, as a holder of the Melchizedek Priesthood, and in the name of Jesus Christ. I also know that your beautiful and faithful mother’s prayers are heard, and I would not doubt that every possible thing is being done by the powers of heaven on your behalf based on the faith and prayers of your sweet mom.

Also sweet bird, let us know if there is anything specific that you need or that we can do for you ok? Do you need any new skirts or new white stuff? We can send it - just let us know k?

Take care my sweet.

Love,

Dad