Wednesday, July 29, 2015

"good intentions are not enough"

July 27, 2015

Hello family and friends,

Thank you for the prayers. Missionaries need prayers and they really
do strengthen us and help us. I am so grateful to be a missionary.

I loved something today that Brother Seymour sent me: "Can you imagine not having this experience?  I am so proud of you—you are an amazing young woman, and I am so  grateful you are a friend.  We pray for you, and know that you are guided thru the spirit.  Everyday, make a difference.  Be obedient.  Pray for guidance.  If I could go back and do my mission over I would ditch the busy crap, and focus on the spirit more.  Focus on the day, bringing others to Christ.  Don’t worry about the things that don’t matter.  I would wake up in the morning, and ask the Lord, where will thou have me go?  And go—and then come home, dog tired, lay down and do it all over again. I think that is what a disciple really is—it’s not about glory, honor and titles—it’s about THEIR salvation.  The rest of it is just clutter. The less clutter, the more you can do."

This is excatly what I want to do. On Tuesday this week I will be
talking a bit about intrinsic motivation with my companion at our Zone Conference. She will start off and then I will speak.
"This topic of intrinsic motivation has been interesting for me to
study this past while. and I want to focus on when we are "running out of steam" or have a lack of motivation. Somehow throughout my life I have just felt this internal motivation to work without problem. And I have just always done as I know I should. Motivation came naturally and I really loved to work hard, from my own desire.

So what does this have to do about "running out of steam"? Well when
we were assigned this topic I honestly felt dread-because I did not
know how I could talk about this intrinsic motivation that I felt I was suddenly lacking. for some reason or another this last transfer has been really hard for me. I have had great companions, we saw many miracles and so forth.but  I have struggled internally. I became really sad, really serious for no apparent reason.

We continued to work but somedays I felt like my heart just was not in it completely. I felt a lack of motivation to fully continue on.

Some mornings I even found myself fighting myself just to simply get
out of bed and start another day.

That is a problem.

the more time I spent focusing on myself the worse it got. The sadness just grew and grew.

I did not want to feel this way and frequently got on my kees asking
God to continue to give me stregth to do the work-and a desire to
continue on. I began reading my scriptures more earnestly trying to
find answers and a cure to this strange behavior. Everywhere I read
God sent me giant flashing signs!

Signs about Fatih. Faith is action. I read about how even the smallest
act of discipleship can help our faith to grow. Sometimes even our
smallest acts- when we feel that is all that we can give that day,
they are the beginning of the kindling of what can later become a
raging fire-a life dedicated to discipleship of Jesus Christ.

James 1:22 writes: "Be ye doers fo the word, and not hearers only..."

Again Uchtdorf says, "We must be willing to make sacrifices and not
just declarations to follow the Savior."

In order to become a great missionary to fulfill our divine potential
we will always be asked to sacrifice- AND to just go out and ACT.

"Good intentions are not enough-we must do!" -uchtdorf

President Klebingat said," When running out of steam... the secret is
to take corrective ACTION immediately.
Thus if you:

Don't feel like opening your mouth this moment... you will do it immediately.

Don't feel like brining up something with your companion... you will do it now!

don't feel like role playing everyday... you will make it happen.

Don't feel like asking for a referral from the next person... you will do it!

Don't feel like exercising right this morning... you will make yourself sweat!

don't feel like you are focused mentally... you will immediately refocus!

If we need to change something we need to not be afraid to do it.
RIGHT NOW. Don't just tell ourselves, tomorrow or next week I will be
better.
We can not let our expectations drop. PMG pg 10 talks about what will
happen when we let our expectations drop.

True happiness in this work comes through action.

Why are we here on missions? What are our reasons?
-Here for the Savior and because of the Savior.
-He has done it all for us and we can do something for Him.
-Jesus Christ is our reason. He is our hope.
-Let us always remember Him
-And work for the right reasons
_it will help it to be easier
-we can do hard things
-This work is so happy. it is salvation
-We can find strength in obedience, action and so on.

We need to act out of love for the Savior. I am so grateful to be a
missionary. We can do hard things. Christ is our friend and our guide.
With him we can do all things."

there are hard moments always, been when we take a moment to look back
we see how many miracles have happened, how much we have grown, how
many blessings have been poured down on us. We begin to be happy and
we can see the hand of God. BECAUSE GOD IS HERE.

I love Ukraine so much and I am thankful for every moment I have here.

some things from this week:

I GAVE MY FIRST FULL LENGTH TALK in ALL RUSSIAN on Sunday. Naturally I
was asked to speak on how my family strengthens me in the gospel. you
guys really do. you are the most important people in the world to me
and even from here I feel close to you. You give me strength and help
me to continue serving. There is no other place in the world I am
supposed to be in right now. It is all about the people and for me my
work for God is in Ukraine right now. I was reading in Luke when
little boy Christ was teaching in the temple and his parents came back
looking for him asking him why he has left them and asking him if he
had realized how much they had worried and been sad because he was not
with them? His answer was simple and PROFOUND. He said, "know ye not
that I be about my Father's business."
The Father must come first. Everything we do must come out of love for
a Father who gave us all, even His most precious son, Jesus christ. We
are saved because of Him. I am so grateful.

This week as I wrote I tried to focus on acting more and we had both
awesome and interesting experiences talking to people on the streets.
The more I strive to just let go and let God, the more I see His hand
and His word. In these past 5 weeks we have given 89 Books of Mormon.
I know it is not about numbers but to me that is 89 more people with
one more step towards truth. We are working hard and Cherkassy is
looking brighter. We may even have one investigator ready for baptism
on August 29. MIRACLES are happening and I need to learn to find the
joy in all these things.

I love you all so much and I hope you have a wonderful week. I miss
you and can not wait for the day I get to come show you Ukraine. It is
my happy place. I feel the spirit so strong here and I am growing and
learning and being tried. It is all for our good. I am so grateful for
the knowledge of the plan. It is true. NEVER DOUBT. ALWAYS LOVE. Be
BOLD. BE BRAVE. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

I love you guys to the moon and back. Praying for you always. Be safe.
Know I love you.

Love Sister Karren

went to a village today. almost cried it was so beautiful and GUESS WHO HAS calluses on her fingers from a good day of work in the garden?! THIS GIRL. SO EXCITED

A boy on his bike in the most beautiful village.

My District

MY FAVORITE PEOPLE HERE. I love these kids so much



blessings of missionary work

July 27, 2015

I asked Kylie to write about the blessings of missionary work and this is from her Journal Pages:

Blessings of Missionary Work:

- We find out who we truly are
- We grow stronger
- We grow in the gospel
- Learn to see through the eyes of God
- Learn to love like God
- Learn how to work hard
- Learn who to turn to first
- Learn who God really is
- Learn how to pray Meaningfully
- Learn to recognize Gods answers and recognize the Holy Ghost
- Receive revelation daily
- Learn from the scriptures
- Learn how to cry and then be put together
- Learn from the scriptures
- Gain a strong testimony of the plan of God
- Learn to go out of your comfort zone
 - Learn balance
- Learn to be happy amidst trials
- Learn patience
- Learn how to sleep in an instant
- Learn how o talk and get along with all kids of people
- Learn to live on your own
- Blessing of seeing Gods hand clearly everyday
- See the Love of God
- Blessings of callused feet and fingers from a hard day of work
- Blessing of testifying everyday
- Connecting to Jake through our experiences
- Really experiencing and understanding the atonement
- Learning a new language
- Learning about our Savior
- A greater understanding of the plan
- Seeing people wracked with sorrow REALLY smile
- Getting to know God and Jesus Christ better
- Recognizing God talking to you everyday
- Seeing more of his beautiful creations
- Hugs from Ukrainian Grandmothers and 3 kisses on your cheeks
_ The Ukrainian hospitality
- Hard moments
- Hearing the words “I Love You”
- Progressing – growing and learning more about our divine potential
- Laughing so hard in another language
- Running everywhere
- Seeing Gods children for who they are
- Experiencing God speaking through you.
-When you are so tired you know you’ve worked hard
- Ukrainian ice cream and candy!
- Doing service
- Ukrainian gardens and villages
- Learning to be brave and to overcome fear
- Growing in knowledge of the gospel
- Learning consistency
- Repentance
- Strength from the family
- Small moments
- Love hard work and hard things
- Meeting inspirational people who CHANGE your life
- Feeling STRENGTH from family and them being the answer to prayers through email


quick request

June 22, 2015

Get to say a quick hello today because I have a favor to ask from you
mama. The branch here wants us to do a presentation about ourselves so
that people can come and see the missionaries are real people too. So
I need you to gather 15 photos of my life birth to before my mission
showing what I like to do and how we lived before my mission from
birth to now. So people can see I am fun. Then just send them to me in
my email so I can put the presentation together. Not too many. Like
one of me as a baby and mid age maybe camping and then one of scuba
diving or playing the piano at DYW and our family and activites we
have done.

Thank you so much. I want you to know how much I love you guys. Have a
great rest of the week and I am thinking of you guys always. Things
are still hard for me here this week just with my thoughts being sad
but God has sent me huge signs to just ACT and forget about myself and
I am trying to act on my faith and just ACT more than ever and I think
it will be cool and help me feel real joy again. I love you guys so
much. I am still thinking about your talk mama. :) Missions are the
best. I LOVE YOU! BE SAFE AND BE HAPPY TODAY BECAUSE I HOPE THE SUN IS
SHINING AND KY LOVES YOU GUYS ALL THE WAY FROM UKRAINE.

You do not need to send me the pictures today but just sometime soon
so I can put it all together. I wont get on my email again till monday
so just then or something :) LOVE YOU!!!

HAVE THE BEST WEEK EVER. I LOVE YOU BOTH TO THE MOON AND BACK!


Love Ky :)

Monday, July 20, 2015

Mission Newsletter

What We do Makes Little Difference...What God Does Makes All the Difference
President Packer
Ukraine Kyiv Mission
20 July 2015

Elders and Sisters,
  When we drove over the Dnipro from the airport, there was an overwhelming feeling that we had come home. This feeling has grown with every phone call,interview,and grocery shopping trip. We love the Ukraine and all of you here! We love serving the Lord in this calling! We love the gospel and the peace and direction it brings in our lives. We are so proud of all of you who serve here in this mission. Each of you showed the Lord and yourselves who you really are. There has been much success while we have been away. You are a seasoned group of missionaries and the Lord is working through you (New and Old Missionaries).
Becoming like the Savior is the quest of our lives. This is not an easy task and sometimes can be discouraging. Why can it be discouraging? Because the Savior is perfect and He asks us to be, “А потому Я хотел бы, чтобы вы были совершенны, даже как Я, или как совершенен Отец ваш Небесный.” Because our commission is so great to carry the gospel to every creature and this takes hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. The beautiful part of this process is that we have help from One who has gone below any of the struggles or mistakes in life we have made or will ever make. The plan of Our Heavenly Father included a way to overcome our failures. Perfectionism often over reaches the bounds of the Savior’s commission to become perfect by robbing the time from it. Failure to reach our own or others expectations for us becomes a stumbling block in accessing the atonement. Discouragement replaces hope and perfectionism becomes a goal to be perfect without the patience required to attain it, a hollow dream to be achieved without failure. For the perfectionist repentance becomes something to be avoided or to castigate one’s self, rather than the daily access to the Balm of Gilad it was prepared for. When we begin to understand that what we do makes very little difference in the work and what God does or can do makes all of the difference, we begin to find joy in the work. He begins to work through us and to use us to build his kingdom.
While in Utah, we had the opportunity to share the gospel with so many amazing people. A thought to stop in a store, or heavy traffic that alters the course of traffic and put us in the right place at the right time to be an instrument in bringing someone closer to Christ. All that was required of us was to follow the promptings and to open our mouths and be bold where ever we found ourselves. While there we needed local cell service and I stopped in to a cell phone store. We greeted the sales team and discussed our need. We asked about them and they asked about us. They didn’t have the service we needed but pointed us in the direction of another store. As we sat in the parking lot of a few minutes talking about what we needed to do, one of the employees came out to the car and knocked on my window. He asked if I were from the LDS Church and if I could help him find answers to a few questions he had. He said that he had met with the young missionaries but they were always following a script and he wanted someone with experience to address his questions. He was sincere. I contacted the Provo mission and found a senior couple in his neighborhood to come over and teach him. Another experience happened while our neighbors took us to dinner at a local restaurant. As I walked to the bathroom, I noticed a man looking at my tag. I walked up to him and he asked me what language it was in. I told him Ukrainian and we started talking. 20 minutes later his food was cold, but I had learned that he was a former member of the church on a business trip up from Brazil. He told me his story and asked me a very tough question. My answer was to bear my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and the reality of the Savior. The Spirit was strong. We exchanged information and took a selfie together. These stories repeated themselves the whole time we were home in various settings. All we needed was a desire to participate in the work even though we found ourselves in a different situation than we had imaged ourselves in on our mission. We went where the Lord took us and opened our mouths and were bold in our testimony.
My hope is that as missionaries we believe and apply the atonement in our own lives. I hope that we are excited to improve and seek constantly to be better but that we don’t beat ourselves up when we fail. We need to learn from our mistakes and use the precious gift of the atonement in our lives.
Love,
President and Sister Packer 



Quote:
Behold, the field was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the sickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your sheaves! And they shall be gathered into the garners, that they are not wasted. Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them. But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.(Alma 26:5-7) 

journal for mom

July 20th Kylie seems discouraged...


July 19, 2015  Kylies Journal:


I feel pretty awful this morning. I am having a hard time- for a while feeling consistently motivated. I know I can work harder, be better and really enjoy this work but I’ve found myself at a loss to know what to do.  Which is weird because I love being here and being a missionary and I love hard work – yet I find myself tempted to just stop trying and it is just not me.  Every morning waking up is impossibly hard.  I do not feel happy or well rested and so when 6:30 rolls around I feel like I cant get up. Then I find myself impatient with my comps and unforgiving of small things they’ve done.  WHATS WRONG with me?!  Throughout the day I feel a rekindling desire to work harder to speak to lots of people and then I get caught up in more angry thoughts about Sister Belavodskia and her constant use and addition to her phone which hinders us all from the Spirit. And it is like if I do not do everything perfect my companions will just do whatever.  I don’t think I am strong enough to pull all three of us everyday for 6 weeks and so I’m tired and running out of gas.  From the outside I do everything basically right yet I feel nothing. We have no intrinsic motivation – we (my comps) need to be influenced to work.  So then why don’t I work harder?  Well the first 3 weeks I did – trying to pull it all together – ADD it is too much to remember and do all by myself and I got too serious because I was the one who needed to focus on work all the time – but I realized I needed to learn to be fun then stupid things like not allowed music from our mini’s phones or talking to each other on the street or too long lunches because Sister Belavodskia needs something from a store everyday or we have like 15 “fun” activities planned that are supposed to be fun and hard work too, but almost always turn out to be only fun and a waste of our time.  We have done some really good things too and I have learned a lot- don’t get me wrong, but mostly I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of Gods time and used too much of my money (from God Missionary Compensation Fund) for dumb meaningless activities that aren’t really progressing the work and I feel a lot of regret for the time of this transfer.  It is hard to be consistent, hard working, and doing all things correctly when you have different minds and wills at play.  I know it is no excise though because I can only make decisions for myself.  I just don’t know how to find the balance.  If I’m too strict our Mini hates me and I know love in a companionship is important, but if I relax AT ALL she takes advantage and things get out of control.  I didn’t used to be so uptight, but now I feel regret and disappointment in myself and I want to change, but not just say it.  I want to actually do.  So now I feel so sad I don’t know where to get the motivation.  I came here for a year and a half to dedicate my life to God.  SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  Today I will fast and partake of the Sacrament.  I want to make a commitment to work harder- to exercise faith. I want God to know that I am sorry, but I also want to feel ok because I feel so much regret about even the smallest things like 5 minutes too long talking to our Elders when we could have been out on the streets, or calling people.  We need to declare REPENTANCE and Salvation to these people. And I need repentance too.  Lord, give me the strength to do all of this. Amen.


2 Nephi 9:21-24, James 1: 17-26 (especially 22 and 25), James 2:17


Our Mini's 


Wearing our badges


Primary Class


Sister Pugachovas birthday wall


Sister Pugachovas Birthday Dress Up


Dressing up as each other


Primary


Primary kids


Water Fight at bedtime


Fun Moments

i want to be a missionary forever

July 13, 2015

HI FAMILY AND FRIENDS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

The first thing I would like to tell all this week is that I have new clothes. Why is that important you might wonder? Well. Let me tell you a quick story. I was washing all my white clothes, skirt, shirts, and many garments. Cool right? You wash whites with whites. Well some time later the washing machine was done and I went to go hang up my clothes to dry. AND I KNOW have new pink clothes. My dear sweet mini missionary decided to add her RED skirt after I left. I tried everything I could to get them to be white again but in the end I just love my mini missionary more than clothes but I am most definitely Charpay from High school musical (it was my nickname in the MTC) because everything I own is now pink. NEAT huh? Ha I know that years from now I will look back and laugh. For now I am just one giant pink blob.

(Read the parable of the Sower in Mark 4 and 1 Nephi 8 at the same time- I did this during personal study and it was crazy cool!!!!)

This week we set a large goal of giving 15 Book's of Mormon and guess what? We were so so blessed and we were able to give out 34 Books of Mormon and things are really starting to look up. Our week is full of plans to teach and it is my favorite thing. I am so happy! 

We have been seeing so many miracles here and we are working hard and sometimes working ahrd to help each other. It is sometimes hard to be in a companionship of 3 but it is also such a blessing. Also this branch is growing stronger and we are close to the memebers here like never before and it is making me so happy. 

One small thing that made me so happy this week was when me and my comps stopped to talk to this old women who uses a broken peice of wood with nails sticking out to be a cane and she and I talked for 20 minutes about God and other things and I could barely understand her but tried so hard because she only wanted to talk to me, and then when we were saying goodbye she told me "I love you." In english. It was so amazing to hear those words out loud in my language. It has been so long since I have heard that. 

I am just learning to love love love the people here. We have one new investitagor named Katerina and she is 75 and like our little grandma. She may be one of the sweetest people I have ever met in my entire life. She watches us go down the street after we leave and feeds us even though she does not have much and she just feels the spirit so strongly. I see her in God's arms someday. So we will continue to work so that she can be bapstised. She is so believing and she is provo slovnic but it loving the book of mormon and our message and what she feels when we are in her home. we are so lucky that God trusts us enough to let us be a part of this work.
day after day I feel incredibly blessed to be here. I feel blessed to be struggling with the language and sometimes with my companions because I am learning so much and it is truly indescribable the feelings I have when I pray when I bear my testimony, when I hug my comps or when we walk around this city handing out Book's of Mormon. More now than ever I know this plan is from God. It incompasses all. AND HE IS ALL. He is my joy and I am so so excited to see Him again someday. to thank him in real life for this oppurutinuty. For all the people my life is blessed with. I love you all so much. I am eternally grateful for each and everyone of you. Please now that and please feel of my love all the way from Ukraine. I love this work.

I want to always be a missionary. 

Have a wonderful miracle filled week. God loves you! And I love you too.

Love Cectpa Karren 

PS: me and my comps have FUN and we are swol and crazy too. We call ourselves KarBelPoog (кэрбелпуг) Enjoy these photos XAXAXA

P Day and COWS. Workin on the farm ;)

A little Crazy!

SO SWOLL!

Garden Work

Monday, July 13, 2015

Mission Newsletter

If There is One Thing I know, That is That the Gospel is True
President Boyd K.Packer
Ukraine Kyiv Mission
13 July 2015
Elders and Sisters,
Hello to our amazing Elder's and Sister's! We love you! We miss you! 🎶 We are coming home to
you...🎶 This Wednesday we will leave to return back home to Ukraine. It has been a wild 3 weeks but
we have had some really neat experiences at the same time. It ended up being a tender mercy to be here
that our family will always remember and be grateful that we were here. When Grandpa Packer passed
they had 10 children, 60 grandchildren, 111 great grandchildren and with spouses 236 total. What a
legacy to leave behind. Grandpa spent his years serving the Lord. He loved to teach and through his talks
he has taught his posterity. I hope and pray that while we are here on earth we can live up to the
standards that grandpa has set. Being with him two days before he passed the spirit was so strong as we
talked about our mission. As we talked about our purpose. Many times grandpa teared up as he
continually shared how grateful he was that the future generations are moving the work forward. The
one thing that stuck out to me is when he got very emotional and said “if there is one thing I know, that
is that the gospel is true." Oh how we love grandpa and Grandma Packer. I know that on the other side
grandpa got right to work. I also know that he will continue to teach those of us as we serve our Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ. I am grateful to be a Packer. We will attach some of the pictures from the
funeral. We love you we can't wait to see you. When we get back in town we will work our way around
the mission and hope to see many of you!
with the passing of Grandpa Packer. We were able to go to his funeral and it was such a neat experience
Love,
Sister Packer



Quote: If someone is looking for a church that requires very little, this is not the one. It is not easy to be a Latter-day Saint, but in the long run it is the only true course.
“Peace can be settled in the heart of each who turns to the scriptures and unlocks the promises of protection and redemption taught therein.” President Boyd K. Packer 







Monday, July 6, 2015

only an ice cream cone

Only An Ice Cream Cone

There is a man we pass by every day who sits on a curb on the sidewalk.  He is usually alone, most often smoking a cigarette.  He has trouble speaking a little but and has some deformities.  Sister Fedas told me not to talk to him so for many weeks I only said, “Hello,” And we walked on.  As time went on I decided to ask him about God.  The next time I shared a message about Christ and tried to give him a Book of Mormon, but he cannot read well anymore.  Once as we passed he asked me for money and I was sad because I cannot give this poor man money for more cigarettes.  We continued passing him to and fro every day, always smiling and saying hello. 

And a few days ago my new companions and I were walking home in the hot sun.  I had purchased 2 ice creams because I am cool like that. J I was eating one and saving one for later.  Up ahead I saw this man sitting on the curb and immediately pulled out my second ice cream because I had 2!   I thought, it is a hot summer day, he has nothing and I have an ice cream just sitting in my bag!! As I walked toward him with the ice cream outstretched in my hand he lit up.  He was like a little boy on Christmas!  I almost choked up because it was such a small thing that evoked so much joy in him.  It was only a cold ice cream, but this man was absolutely beaming.  He thanked me and we walked on.  I couldn’t help but feel God smiling down at this man – His beloved child who has been dealt a hard life – holding a cold ice cream in his hand so completely happy. 

I think this moment will change me completely.  We can make such an impact and difference in the lives of all we meet as we think about Christ and try to do as He would do.  My heart almost burst in this one small moment – only an ice cream cone – but it meant the world to this man.  I know the Savior, Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love this man.  Its one of those moments I will never forget.  We passed him again last night and he gave me a book of Ukrainian poems he wrote for children in 1977.  He is such a sweet little guy. 




Kylies Journal from the week:
  
      

Our investigator

My two cute Ukrainian companions wanted to celebrate for America on July 4 :D So we did. And then we handed out 3 books of mormon in 5 minutes. then 3 more later. SAY WHAT?!?!?!